Paris is perhaps the most productive city for player development in the world. But could you beat one of the richest, most global clubs in football using only players from the City of Lights? Martin Vert has been set that challenge.

November ’24

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The ghosts are arguing with each other. The first is angry, he just keeps hissing “unleash them” at me through the night and I’m not sure what “them” is, but I’m beginning the think they are some kind of demon.

The second keeps shushing the first with his “trust the system” mantra. I think I understand that one a bit more. But what I know most of all is that, despite our good league performance, they just won’t let me sleep.

Whatever they might think, I’m pretty pleased with our season. Sure, we’ve thrown the Champions League, which is difficult, but we are once again right at the top of the real Ligue 1 (PSG don’t count) and financially, we should be in a position to give Europe a better go next season if we can stay here. It’s all about little progression.

Angers are a side that seem to be slowly regressing. From a mid-table side with European aspirations, they are slowly moving, season-by-season, toward the relegation zone. This year they are the weakest they have been in my three and a half years and sit in the drop zone before we start, and struggle to score goals. Massouema is back for us, and Doukansy makes the bench.

The enigma of Angers is that they seem to not concede many, but struggle to score. It’s an enigma because, in Mo Ali-Cho they have a magnificent forward who, here, needs just the one chance to score. Also because, the evidence suggests, they are a defensive shambles. Especially at full-back, where Mukelenge and Traore seem to have all the space they could ever want to create chances. So we get three to Cho’s one, and take the three points. Which is nice.

We travel to Portugal almost straight away to get ready for our game against Porto. There are a few niggles in the squad, and players returning from injury, but it’s our uncompetitive European campaign so I’m not entirely concerned. We change it up as much as we can, and give Fabio Barroso a start as a nice signing bonus for his new contract. A win here would actually lift us into the Europa League places thanks to the draw against Roma, but given how Porto dominated last time, and my second string, I’m not expectant.

I’m right not to expect. My apathy toward the competition has obviously filtered into the players, who look like they can’t wait to get back to Paris. Porto, on the other hand, have got their tails up and want to put on a show in front of their home fans, who are disappointed by the drop into the Europa League. They win a free kick in the first 60 seconds and fire it into the bottom corner, and there’s no stopping them from there, even when Juan Bernat picks up a red card. 4-0 is a bit of an embarrassment, and it could have been much worse without Fofana, but we can put this dreadful European campaign behind us and concentrate on the bread and butter now.

It turns out Marseille have had enough of their underperformance over the last two seasons, having seen their early season form drop off and finding themselves in mid-table. Loudmouth Aliou Cisse gets the sack, and who do they turn to in their time of crisis, but little ol’ Martin Vert. No thanks Marseille, not even the Velodrome can tempt me from my mission.

Nice are next, and having spent the billionaire’s money wisely, Peter Bosz is putting in a fight for the Champions League places this season. They sit one place and four points below us, having brought in, amongst others, the very dangerous Mohammed Kudus. He sits behind Benzema in their 4231, and has settled into Ligue 1 well. But we’ve won our last six and, as it’s our last league game of the year, we want to finish 2024 on a high. It’ll be the strongest lineup, and it’ll be tough, but I’m confident.

It is indeed tough, but we do what we do best. We hunker down. We limit their chances. We keep them at arm’s length. And then with ten minutes to go, we strike. Lamine Fomba intercepts a ball in the middle of the park and lifts it over the defenders. Barreto runs onto it, jinks past one defender, and fires into the bottom corner. We close the game down and see it out for another three points.

2024 ends with our first cup game of the campaign. We travel to the charming but tiny surroundings of Saint-Omer, a small town not far from Calais, whose football team play in the fifth tier. They are completely amateur, which gives us a chance to give a few youngsters some game time. Niyonkuru and Duhamel come in for their senior debuts, and Daury gets another start under his belt. Other than that we rotate to try to keep everybody happy.

It’s a professional, if unspectacular performance. Yassine Benrahou decides to cash in on his goal bonuses and gets himself a first half hat trick, and Christopher Attys adds a fourth just after the break. I tell the players to calm down, to try and avoid injuries, and they sit back to see the game out. Loucif scores a consolation with a long-range wonderstrike, and I’m a little disappointed but we can’t expect Niyonkuru to be Fofana.

And that’s a wrap on 2024. It’s been an unbelievable year, finishing last season second and taking our first tentative steps into European football, and then continuing that form into the new season where we are second behind PSG again, but have given ourselves a nine point lead over 4^th. 2025 should be fun!

January ’25

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