Paris is perhaps the most productive city for player development in the world. But could you beat one of the richest, most global clubs in football using only players from the City of Lights? Martin Vert has been set that challenge.
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I’m no handwriting expert, but I’m pretty sure the scrawl Steve has put where his signature belongs wouldn’t stand up in court. It is the third name on my early Christmas present – a new contract from Patrice was literally giftwrapped and left of my desk – and I add my name fourth. I’m not going anywhere, even if Steve managed to sneak that counter-attacking performance target in again. We’re half way through the season, and we’ve already reached our 40 point target, which means we are now all asking what else we can achieve.
The Christmas season is actually pretty relaxed in the French leagues. We have a slow start to December for no apparent reason, and play our first game in ten days. We play two more before the festivities begin, and then have a break until the New Year, when hopefully we’ll have a Coupe de France tie. Creteil stand in our way though, and they will need to be seen off in the middle of the three games.
We’re expecting another excellent youth intake, which is nice. Of course, that doesn’t mean that any of them will be from Paris. Last year our best prospect was born in Portugal. But Barroso, the best Parisian, scored his first senior goal for the club against Sainte-Genevieve so we’re all feeling positive.
First up is Nancy. They are closer to the bottom than the top, which will be disappointing for a side who would have considered themselves outsiders for a promotion upset. All of their statistics are very average, having scored and conceded the same amount of goals, and almost even amounts of wins, draws and losses. We go back to the strongest side we can muster after the cup win, and our new goal is clean sheets all the way to Christmas. Latouchent starts against his former club.
They are lucky we waste so many chances. We are lucky they waste so many chances. And their chances are probably the better chances. Twice Fofana saves when our defensive line is broken, and Nancy hit the post and bar, as well as completely miss a hatful of chances. We are lucky to head back to Paris with a draw, and glad once more that Yahia Fofana is between the sticks. He is our player of the season so far.
It’s time we get to grips with this lack of goalscoring, but I’m limited in the moves I can make. Steve has, for the fourth time, not even bothered to come up with senior affiliate suggestions, and PSG want ridiculous wage contributions for their youngsters, as if it’s my fault they put a 16-year-old on €20,000/week. So I offer trials all 25 out of contract Parisian strikers that my scouts have alerted me to. Surely one of them can find the back of the net? To add to my problems, Josue Homawoo puts in a transfer request. If I can offload him in January it’ll save me one headache – his discontent – but I’ll need to find a replacement. HomaWoe is me.
The Coupe de France sees us make the short trip across the city to Creteil. They currently sit in 8th in the Championnat National and will be hoping for a good run of form to get them toward the promotion places. We’ll change the lineup, but Vialla needs minutes so Barroso will miss out this time. I expect a win, and I expect a cup run.
It’s yet another 1-0 win. We huff and we puff, but for a long while it just doesn’t seem like their house will blow down. Vialla’s fitness is low, so I bring on Benali for him, and the winger makes the difference, taking the ball down the wing and crossing for Mbala to find the net. We can’t add a second, but we’ve reached out Coupe de France target of the 10th Round, so hopefully we’ll get a nice big juicy tie to make it worthwhile.
The big news out of Qatar is that Gareth Southgate’s England, after going close at their last two major tournaments, have won the World Cup, beating the Netherlands 2-1 in the final! Harry Kane’s injury time penalty decided it.
More pressing is our trip to Niort. They haven’t fared too well since we met them at the start of the season, and are just in the relegation zone. They won’t be able to save themselves with a playoff like they did last season, so they’ll need a better 2023 than they’ve had 2022. Of course, relevant to us, is the reappearance of Damien Durand Durand. He’ll have a view to a kill, and something something girls on film. Alright, I’m not made of 80s New Romantic references. We’re back to a full-strength side.
It’s unlucky number 13 for our clean sheet record, when just past the hour Joris Moutachy becomes the first player to find a way past Fofana for 1,193 minutes. That’s just shy of twenty hours of football. Incredible. At least it wasn’t Durand. I worry that it’ll be the end of our unbeaten record as well, but the goal steels our players and they are determined to go down swinging. When Barreto toys with the goalkeeper, drawing him out of position and laying back to Mbala we’re level. And then right on 90 minutes Cheikh Ndoye nods home an Owen Maes cross to give us a victory we probably don’t deserve. I’ll take it though, another lovely Christmas present.
And that’s that for 2022. It has been a spectacular year, and the board put on a Christmas party to reflect that. We have lost just two games all year, one of which was on penalties in the Coupe de France against Troyes. Who we just happen to be playing again in the Cup in the new year. We finish 2022, and I can’t quite believe it, at the top of the table. Wow.
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