We somehow came though September no worse than we went into it, which given my meddling was an absolute miracle. The fans still hate me, the squad still terrifies me, and a poor run of form could see my head intimately acquainted with some Leazes End rubble, but we’re in the hunt. And that’s all I can ask for at this stage. Old as bloody time Dave Mackay is the first manager to face the chop.

Catch up on the last episode here! If you want to try your own challenge, everything you need is here!

October sees another five games, against our nearest rivals and some promotion candidates, so it’ll be a tough one. But first there’s an international break to contend with, as Bobby Robson prepares his side for Italia 90. They see off an average Portugal side 3-0, and I put teenage goalkeeper Vitor Baia on the shortlist…

First up is Sunderland, and in this reality they a promotion candidates along with us, though they’ve started slower. We want a win here. Win against Sunderland and the rest of the month doesn’t matter. At least that’s what I’ll try to tell the board if I must. We stick to the 4-1-4-1 that, belatedly, I’ve settled on, but Tommy Wright is suspended so a less than convincing Gary Kelly is between the sticks, and I just pray we won’t have to call on Ian Bennett.

We start like a train. Sweeney turns home a corner at the second attempt, and then McGhee gets his first goal of the season, before it all gets familiarly end to end. Sunderland halve the deficit just 12 minutes in through Hauser, before MacPhail gets onto a corner on the edge of the box and fires the home side level. I tear into them at half time about focus and consistency.

Everything stays… consistent… for 20 minutes after the restart. And the Gary Brazil, beautiful Gary Brazil, picks up the ball on the half way line. He drives forward, slips past the first man. He breezes beyond the second. The defender comes to meet him and he jinks away onto his favoured left foot. Paul Bracewell is the last line, but he can do nothing against the silk himself (as I’ve decided to call him), and Brazil beats the fourth man to fire home. It’s just like watching Brazil!!! We close the game up and see it through, losing Dillon to an injury in the celebrations.

The win takes us top, but Dillon’s injury is a bad one. The celebrations go long into the night, and Brazil is the hero. As Dillon is packed off to hospital for treatment we make the short coach ride back to St. James Park in high spirits, and for the first time we truly believe we might be able to make something stick. The graffiti is still all over my car, but now there’s a loveheart around the words “cockney tosser”. Small mercies, I guess.

Actually, we probably shouldn’t have celebrated so hard. Wolves are up next, and in just a few days. They’ve started poorly and sit second bottom, but up front they have a young man by the name of Steve Bull who looks exceptionally dangerous. Even with their poor form, he’s scoring goals at least as efficiently as any of our players. Barton comes in for the injured Dillon and there’s a bit of a reshuffle, and Quinn comes in for McGhee to freshen things up.

It’s as comfortable a game as we’ve had so far. Wolves start pretty well and Bull looks dangerous, but the penalty after just 18 minutes knocks the stuffing out of them, and then we go on the hunt. Despite Mutch pulling one back they never really threaten and we go back to the top of the league.

After the match, Ray Ranson signs a new contract. He’s not been our best player, but he’s a leader in the dressing room and when he puts it together he’s as good as anyone, so it’s a good deal all round. We’re away at Swindon in the next game, and in Colin Calderwood they perhaps have the best defender in the division. It’ll be another tough one but we’re hitting our stride and we know we can beat anyone. We stick with the side that did so well at Wolves.

The first half is all Swindon, and anything we try to create is snuffed out by an imperious Calderwood. Gary Kelly does his best Dino Zoff impression to keep it level and we make it to half time. Swindon have nullified Brazil, so I bring in Clark to give them something else to think about. And Keane heads in for Barton to rough them up a bit. The changes make all the difference as, first, Clark beats his man to lay a simple ball across for Quinn to score, before Clark doubles the lead himself with a rasping drive from distance. 2-0, and an away win. We’re looking like the pre-season title favourites we were supposed to be.

Stoke have gone off the boil just as we’ve hit form, and the match that at the start of the month looked especially tough is now against a side that hasn’t won in October. They’re still dangerous though, and we’re glad to bring Wright back in goal after his suspension. Other than that we’re unchanged, and ready for the threat of Peter Beagrie and Chris Kamara. Unbelievable.

It’s another very comfortable afternoon, and Stoke barely threaten the goal as we neutralise their attacking threat. Quinn scores early on to calm the nerves, and then we finish the job before half time. The second half is a quieter affair, but again we have the better of it, and we leave the Potteries with a clean sheet on top of the three points, for the second consecutive game, which means I’m allowed to keep the “Def” in the tactic name a little longer.

A winning side is difficult to change, and that invariably leaves some people without the game time they expect. That doesn’t make it any less difficult when a player asks to leave though, but we accept Bjorn Kristensen’s request anyway. £1m would be a nice little addition, and he hasn’t quite got the qualities we’re looking for, especially if we’re building for the top flight.

It disrupts our focus for the Leeds match, but not too much. They are one of the promotion favourites and ooze quality all over the pitch. They sit in fourth, and Sgt. Wilko has them solid at the back, though they don’t get many themselves. So pretty much the complete opposite of us, where despite my best efforts for a calm campaign we are living up to Kevin Keegan’s Entertainers.

Maybe Kristensen’s transfer request was more disruptive than I realise. The well-drilled side starts quickly against the poorly disciplined goalgetters, and David Batty makes it 1-0, before the discipline gets even worse and Warren Barton sees red for what I think was a fairly innocuous two-footed lunge on Gordon Strachan. The wily Scot makes us pay just before half time too, driving through the gap made by Barton’s absence before laying off to John Hendrie. We throw everything at them after half time and get one back, but it isn’t enough and we fall to our only defeat in October.

The defeat takes us off the top of the table as Portsmouth capitalise. Leeds are breathing down our necks, and injuries and suspensions are taking their toll. But it’s four wins in five, and that’s promotion form, which isn’t too bad. November sees us take on mostly relegation fodder, so it should continue too.

Jive Bunny and the Mastermixers have worked their way back to the top of the chart, with a Hawaii Five-0 themed hit.