Paris is perhaps the most productive city for player development in the world. But could you beat one of the richest, most global clubs in football using only players from the City of Lights? Martin Vert has been set that challenge.

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March 2022

March was a great month for Les Etoiles Rouges. We have secured promotion, we have all but secured the title. I don’t think I have taken charge of such a dominant season since the heady Diablo days of 03/04. I was young, don’t judge me. Now we just need to see it through.

April begins right away with a visit from Villefranche Beaujolais. They are right in mid-table, with very little chance of going in either direction at the end of the season, so hopefully they’ll already be on their holidays. I’m determined that we won’t be, I want to win every game to the end of the season, to give us some momentum to take into Ligue 2. Let’s show everyone what we’re all about. We’re still a few players light, so Daillet, Ghabaoui and Guel will all start.

It’s a professional, champions performance. We get our business done early, and we limit them to almost nothing. We have already cracked the post when Josue Homawoo gets on the end of a Damien Durand cross and powers home a header. When Mayoro N’Doye plays a nice ball for Alvyn Le Corre to run on to, I expect him to take on the defender. But instead he hits it first time, from 25 yards, and it flies into the bottom corner. The second half passes without much incident, but that’s ok by me as long as we win. Three more points on the board.

The wheels really do seem to be coming off at Chateauroux. They need just two points from the final six games, so they really should be joining us in Ligue 2, but they lose again, this time to Stade Briochin. We are 11 clear with 18 points to play for.

There’s a dejected looking suit hanging around the office again, and when I get closer I recognise Damien Durand’s agent. I brace myself for the inevitable transfer request, but we’re more comfortable with it now, given our position. But he doesn’t ask for a transfer, instead he tells me that young Damien has dropped his contract demands. Which is a bit of a result. Finances permitting (and they’re pretty dire), he’ll be an important part of our first season in Ligue 2.

We make the nearly six hour trip to the Swiss border for our next game, against FC Annecy. They are another of those clubs without much to play for as the season draws to a close, and dangerous winger Alex Bosetti is suspended. Another win, another clean sheet, and I’ll be happy. Jason Tre, Aniss El Hriti and Noah Cadiou come back into the side.

It’s another great performance, but without enough cutting edge. A newly happy Durand hits the post early on, and Le Corre tests the keeper a couple of times before Homawoo has a header disallowed for a push. Eventually Hacene Benali scuffs a shot into the bottom corner, tricking the goalkeeper by not striking it cleanly, and we go into half time ahead. The second half is much the same, all effort and no end product. But it’s another win, so I can’t complain.

Chateauroux finally secure their place in Ligue 2 next season, but they made hard work of it, the all important goal coming deep into stoppage time against Bastia-Borgo. So it’s only the playoff spot left to decide in the Championnat National promotion race, which Orleans currently sit in. At the bottom it’s a little tighter, with three teams in the relegation zone still with hopes of staying up, all their eyes on Chambly.

Who, incidentally, are our next opponents. I don’t like seasons where everything is sewn up too early, so I feel like I need to make sure they are dragged into the fight, because we’ve made the title and promotion race a little too simple.

Chateauroux play in the early kick off, and they lose heavily to Concarneau, which gives us the opportunity to secure the title, today, in front of our home fans. The lineup is unchanged, but I’ve tweaked the tactics to try to get the ball to Le Corre a little more. There’s no point changing too much, but that data student from the local school is back and pointed out that almost nobody is passing to the striker. So we’ll give it a go.

For the second time this season, Ludovic Butelle roars to the crowd. Only this time, there is no chance that it’ll go wrong for him. He lifts the trophy aloft, the Stade Bauer erupts into noise, and the fireworks are set off. We are champions, and we deserve every accolade. We have tied it up with four games to go, with goals from Hacene Benali, Jason Tre and Moussa Guel, and another clean sheet from our veteran captain. Champions.

Patrice and David have invited me up to the boardroom for a glass or three of champagne. Steve’s there too, looking kind of happy and kind of angry. Which isn’t surprising. My picture has been pasted to the wall again, and the Argentinian heroes look on with stern, unsmiling faces. We’re enjoying ourselves, but they know this is just the next step in taking their club to the summit. I’m not sure Guillermo Stabile ever smiled, and I’m certain that Helenio Herrera’s frown was moulded onto his face. Maybe it’s because they couldn’t enjoy the little moments, the small victories. There was always something more to achieve, and they were always looking onwards. That’s what we need to do as a club now.

Orleans are up next. They are in pole position for the playoff spot, and are a very strong side. But we are stronger. Ghabaoui comes in for the suspended El Hriti, and while I’m not convinced our tactical tweak made much of a difference, it didn’t seem to hurt as much either, so I leave it as it is.

The first half is a tight affair, and Orleans are probably the better side. We take an early lead when Alvyn Le Corre scores from close range, but Carnejy Antoine equalises from a corner before half time. I remind the lads that the season isn’t over in the dressing room, and switch things up a bit. We’re sitting too much, so I throw Meissa Ba on as support up top, and we dominate the second half. First Ba puts us back in the lead, before Le Corre gets his second of the evening. Durand scuffs a shot wide from about 2 yards out, and Guel heads over from a similar position, so we’re the better side. Apart from a piece of Butelle madness which we survive, they don’t create much.

Josue Homawoo’s agent is back in my office talking about another new deal. I don’t like him. He knows the deal already, so there’s no point coming back and trying to convince me and the board to break our strict recruitment policy, however much I like Josue. I pull the defender to the side in training to have a word, and he agrees that it’s about time he went it alone. Goodbye Mr. Smugsuit!

Sedan are not a good side. They are bottom of the league. They have conceded the most goals in the division. They have scored the fewest. Their relegation was confirmed weeks ago. And they are our final opponents in April. Their form has picked up a little since their relegation was confirmed, with the pressure off, but that’s no excuse, we’re going for the Championnat National points record. El Hriti comes back into the side, and Guel starts ahead of Cadiou who needs a little rest.

It’s another solid display. Benali turns home an El Hriti cross on 20 minutes, but we had created chances for fun before there. Alvyn Le Corre, playing with some of the pressure off, put away from a deep Jason Tre through ball just before half time. Le Corre got his second with a lovely volley from a Damien Durand cross midway through the second half, and Cheikh Ndoye score almost the same goal on 77 minutes. 4 goals, another clean sheet, three more points. Can’t complain.

And that’s a wrap for April. We are now 18 points clear at the top of the table and really have made it look easy. But we have two more games to go, six more points, and the record in our sights. And then the daunting task of rebuilding the side without the non-Parisian players. It’s going to be interesting.

May ’22

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