It’s a time before the Premier League. When football was football, and Newcastle were dirt-poor. Can Martyn Green lead them to the top? We’re genuinely asking.

It’s the CM89/90 Challenge.

Find us on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram

Find the previous episode here!

Find everything you need to complete your own adventure at https://cm8990.wordpress.com/

New year, new decade, new tactics. The 4141 has been pretty good, we’ve been in the promotion running all season and have had good unbeaten streaks. But we’ve never been entirely comfortable in games and, try as I might, we just can’t seem to stop conceding. So we’ll go full on Kevin Keegan and attack attack attack. We can always drop back into the 4141 if we need to.

First up in 1990 is West Brom. The Midlands side play a flat 442 that’s served them well, and they sit in the playoffs, chasing the three-horse race at the top of Portsmouth, Leeds, and us. Perhaps it’s not the best time to adjust the tactics, to get the lads learning something new, but this is Newcastle dammit, and we don’t get anywhere without huge, risky gambles. This is the decade of The Entertainers, and this time, we’re going to succeed.

I genuinely don’t understand this game. I used to be good at it. I remember being good at it. But with my adult brain, the tactics don’t make any sense. We have gone with a full-on attacking tactic, and both created fewer chances, and allowed fewer chances. I’ll put it down to the lads learning the new system, but it’s frustrating. Still, a draw against a good West Brom side is nothing to be sniffed at, so we move on.

We come off the pitch to learn that Portsmouth have also drawn, against bottom of the table, which means we haven’t lost any ground. It puts the point against a playoff side into perspective, I guess.

Sheffield Wednesday are the next visitors to St. James’ Park. They are properly good in 1990, sitting eighth in the First Division and they’ll give us a proper test. They are the kind of team we want to be in the next two years, and I’d give my left arm for a couple of their players, so we’ll just see how things go.

Despite the scoreline, we are probably the better side. We have more chances, we have more of the play, and if it wasn’t for the long, shapely legs of Carlton Palmer we probably would have come away with something. As it happens, they have top flight composure and put us to bed with their only chances of the game, while we are wasteful. We’re out of the FA Cup, but that’s good, because it means we can concentrate on the league. Right? Right??

There are rumblings in the media regarding Bobby Robson’s striking options for the national team. Gary Lineker is first choice, obviously, but no obvious backup. Personally, I’d go with Alan Smith or David Hirst, but I don’t like to talk down my own players so I agree with the idea that Micky Quinn isn’t far off a call up. I’d think Bobby had lost it, but I agree. Liverpool are also interested in our star man, which is infinitely more worrying.

Early on Saturday morning we all pile onto a coach to Blackburn. This is a pre-title-aspiration Blackburn, with Shearer and Southgate pie-in-the-sky thinking. But they are just outside the playoffs and in Frank Stapleton they have a wily, experienced forward who will punish any lapses. But we have Micky Quinn, and the best side of the last decade want him. And England, apparently, who are not the best side of the last decade. I’m sticking with The Entertainers.

And that, football fans, is how you entertain. Blackburn start pretty well, and Stapleton has an early strike chalked off for a push, but it’s a wake up call. Man-mountain Colin Hendry keeps us out for 35 minutes before the dam is breached and Gary Brazil drills home from the edge of the box. At half time, their players trudge off and look exhausted, and so it proves when we run riot in the second half. Kevin Brock gets on the end of a Quinn knock down to double the lead, and then Mark McGhee (on for Quinn) gets the third. When Brazil gets his second and our fourth with 5 minutes to go, I relax at the kind of comfortable performance I’ve been craving.

The newspaper carries a report about the goalscoring exports of Dutch forward Marco van Basten. I’m not sure what the fuss is about really. He’s not bad I guess. Maybe if Liverpool sign Quinn we can tempt him from Milan.

We welcome back a couple of familiar faces to St James’ Park in our final game of January. We sold Archie Gourlay to Barnsley back in the summer, knowing he wouldn’t get much of a chance here. He has since been joined by the Bald Eagle, the man I replaced, Jim Smith. By all accounts he wants to get one over on me, for stealing his job. But we aren’t about to let that happen, are we? No, I’m genuinely asking.

This is proper pre-Premier League entertainment. There are goals, there are chances, and there’s a fight on the pitch. That’s a perfect afternoon. Kevin Brock opens the scoring after just six minutes, slotting home a lovely through ball from Roy Keane – the byword for anger is really starting to progress. Then Mark Stimson taunts Darren Foreman as they head back to the half way line, Foreman headbutts Stimson, and Stimson throws a punch. The players from both sides rush in, and it’s mostly handbags, but Stimson and Foreman are off. Brock is unlucky to go off straight from scoring, but Warren Barton comes in on the left hand side. The lads smell blood in the water, and push forward. On 13 minutes Ray Ranson gets down the right and floats a lovely ball that just begs Micky Quinn to head it in, and he duly obliges. There’s barely 20 minutes on the clock when Kevin Scott – Kevin Scott! – drives into the box and takes a shot. It’s blocked, but the rebound pops up to Quinn who volleys home. It descends into violence after that, but we will always win when it comes to violence. Yellow cards are dished out like sweets, and we celebrate another comfortable win.

Leeds and Portsmouth have dropped points, which means we go back to the top of the table. I’m impressed with what I’ve seen of this new formation, I should have leaned into the entertaining, attacking style from day one. Alan Shearer, who I’d secretly harboured hopes of one day bringing to the north east, heads for sunnier climes. Which might make tempting him back a little difficult. Maybe if they finally fix up the Leazes End.

Kylie Minogue tops the charts with Tears on my Pillow.

We aim to keep this site ad free. Please help us by donating below.